Understanding legal speak…

Lawyer speak:

Lawyer: If my d*ck was dirty would you suck it if I washed it off?

Witness: No! That’s gross!

Lawyer: Oh so you’re a dirty c*ck sucker? You’re gross.

What the hell just happened?

You just got a crash course in Lawyer speak 101 for beginners. You can say you wouldn’t have done it all but then the lawyer would say I object the witness clearly stated she would not do it if it was dirty, she never said she wouldn’t do it at all. (You didn’t!)

This works great for you if your the plaintiff & if this is your lawyer, but if you’re the accused… not so much. Don’t blame that lawyer, blame the lawyers & politicians who came before him & made such a mockery of our legal system that the ONLY way to win is to think, talk & speak like this. MANY a young lawyer has come fresh out of law school ready to save the world & once they got a taste of all the double talk settled quietly into contract, copyright or real estate law. The one’s who have survived their obligatory stint at the public defense office & moved forward can be guaranteed a life fraught with turmoil, elevated depression, addiction & divorce rates. I personally think most of them should be eligible for Social Security Disability payments for PTSD, they have to think like a shark, & not get eaten by them & they have so many rules they must follow, so they must constantly be on guard yet figure out ways around it so they can actually make a living.

I take great pleasure in poking at them once in a while but I make sure to acknowledge the limitations they face. Now I have a pool of them to pick from all I have to do is piss or get off the pot & make a choice. Keeping in mind I have 3 very distinct cases, 1 civil suit for slander, 1 Tort Claim against the City & State, plus 1 case which is a Federal Lawsuit.

So how do you find a good lawyer? Well there are several ways, word of mouth, & through a legal referral bank, but how do you know the attorney is really worth his wages? The Bar Association has some questions you should ask,  and a lawyer directory, but you need to do the homework yourself as well. They also have a listing (same page) of lawyer discipline notes but a tremendous amount of the court reprimands are NOT listed here. worse yet keep in mind that most of the complaints lodged against them are NEVER listed or even acted upon. I have a letter from the bar from a complaint I filed where they told me they didn’t have the funds to even investigate! WTH??? Really? The lawyers pay their dues so where is the money going? Oh wait tis better to NOT bite the hands that feed you. A case of Lawyers “Policing” other lawyers, as I have said before it’s a little like letting registered sex-offenders supervise other registered sex offenders. Makes no sense, & until a state agency is created to oversee it nothing will change.

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